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In the 1990s, we started getting familiar with the word emotional intelligence and over the last 15 years, the incredible work done by psychologist and neuroscientist have increased our knowledge and awareness around the subject. Today I am going to give you a quick overview, so please check in again next month for a follow up to this article.
What is EQ?
The two main components of EQ are:
When it comes to understanding yourself, we are looking at self-awareness, self-management & self-regulation.
Understanding yourself in relation to others
When it comes to understanding yourself in relation to others, we are looking at relationship management, the ability to influence and guide others & handle other people’s emotions – read their verbal and non-verbal cues.
Characteristics of EQ
Being emotional intelligent will not only benefit you professionally, it will give you a clear advantage in your personal life when communicating with your partner, kids, and friends.
Here is an every-day example. How often have you acted or/and reacted hastily and thereafter thought: “Gosh, I wish I had taken a minute, an hour or perhaps a whole day, before I had responded to this”? With a high EQ you will have strengthen ability to regulate your emotions – look at the problem calmly and come up with a solution.
Below are some of the main characteristics of a high EQ:
- You are a great communicator and listener
- You build and maintain great relationships
- You are empathetic
- You understand how you come across to others
- You understand different communication styles. You are able to pick up on verbal and non-verbal cues and adjust your communication accordingly
How to improve your EQ
After reading the section above you may feel you are a lost case, when it comes to EQ. You are not. Because the fantastic news is that, no matter how old you are, you can luckily teach your brain new tricks. With a fine word, we call it ‘neuroplasticity’.
To improve your EQ, it starts by asking yourself some tough questions, such as
- How do I come across to others? Imagine yourself receiving the information the way you deliver it. Would you like it?
- How are you reacting to other people’s emotions? Do you acknowledge and support them, even if you don’t experience the same emotions? Or are you trying to sneak out of the room asap?
- Are you able to rationally label your own feelings and behaviours?
- How are you dealing with difficult situations?
- Do you take responsibility? Are you able to put your pride aside and apologise if you hurt someone’s feelings?
By looking at the questions above and answering them internally, you will know what areas you will need to focus on. Write them down and visit them at least once per week. Keeping them fresh in your mind will help you alter your actions/reactions positively next time you are faced with a similar situation. Good luck.
Michella Francis is the founder and managing director of Venus Consulting. With her passion for the human psychology and extensive experience in conflict resolution, Michella’s expertise is helping employers create a harmonious and productive workplace environment.
Her qualifications in neuroscience and PRISM Brain Mapping (behavioural preferences assessments) have seen her develop a range of unique programs including the new ‘ Workplace Prosperity Program’.
Michella is also a Nationally Accredited Mediator specialising in Workplace Mediation as well as Family Law Mediation.
If you would like to know how you can maximise productivity, inspire collaboration and innovation in a drama-free working environment, please contact Michella on 1300 30 40 18 or on firstname.lastname@example.org.